I need to talk to you about an important matter involving lesbians.
I totally have a Rabbi on speed dial now. Keep it Kosher.
So I think we're almost at the age where we should start calling boys men. Now what age do they start living up to the new title?
Most never. Some around 65.
I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
Dear Mark, please dispose of your crusty mcdonalds napkins used to jerk it at my desk
discrete masterbation is a lost art
Life lesson #57: drinking whisky out of apples leads to threesomes.
It took you an unbelievable amount of time to realize that your ass was on fire.
ur roommate just sent me a pic of us fucking. i'm not coming over anymore.
If I had to give her an idea on what it means to be ur date I would compare it to being Ralph macchio's gf in the first karate kid... That's one of the coolest things I've ever said... I love drugs.
I forgot that I thought it would be a good idea to hairspray my toilet seat last night after I took 12 shots of vodka so when I just went to pee, I stuck to the toilet. Never drinking again.
I got laid while wearing a shirt with a picture with my little brother deep throating a banana on it.
Working nightshift means its never too early to start drinking- and you can quote me on that
Is she blowing you? I'm in the closet.
And our sex soundtracks thus far have been metal and Star Wars
I was just told I’m pretty enough to be a catfish. This made me so happy...
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