It must have been true love
I don't call true love eating a bag of doritos and then going down on each other
And Anthony pissed on himself at the strip club
walked into the kitchen nd asked my mom what smells like tuna she replies" your sister" now i cant eat tuna...EVER!!!
he said "you're pretty" then i made out with him. thats all it took
I just remembered yelling "they're gonna let me be a lawyer! Me! Why would they do that?"
weed salsa. i deserve a nobel prize
I came home to my brother stoned out of his mind. He got a high score on COD and asked me to have a celebration yogurt with him.
you just knocked on the window of the ambulance and waved at me as we drove away
If we break up, I want weekend visitations with your penis.
Cavemen vs astronauts. weapons to be determined. Who would win?
Is everyone touching their nose at me a sign that I should stop snorting vicodin off my phone in the bathroom at school?
He's getting off drug court. We're doing a super-blunt with 50 dollars worth stuffed inside. He almost cried tears of joy when we told him.
The night went downhill when he took his pants off at our table and walked up to women saying "Special delivery"
You know what else? He didn't even get to see my butt. And my butt is really cute. Car sex is awful.
We got stoned and watched Disney movies all night. I think I'm in love.
Randomize
