I want leopard sheets
haha sexcapades
thats the plan
He bought me ice cream and then I gave him a bj
I think that's fair trade off
My place. Tomorrow Night. Bring your liver, and something for it to do.
I just saw the pics of me from the costume party as Party Boy. I've effectively cock-blocked myself forever.
There were penises being pulled out everywhere.
Slow dancing with the chandelier.
My love will cover her like lulu lemon yoga pants. Casually supportive and always complimenting your Ass.
Exotic beer tasting at my apt right now and by that I mean I bought random beer and I'm drinking it on my balcony
Do you still have "be bumpin" written on your ass in glitter pen? Who brings a glitter pen to a bar? Or pulls there ass out for that matter...
I cannot be with a girl who won't let me come home on my lunch break, eat spicy ranch and watch Breaking Bad without pants on. #lesbianproblems
I thought we were but then I freaked myself out. So I kind of geared him up for take off and then cancelled the launch
It's ok, I did squats with my bottle of wine before I opened it. That counts as the gym since I won't be getting there haha
Do you know how fucking great a bath bomb is when you're high?
When dealing with embarassing medical issues, don't you want your brother's wife to be the one fishing around up your ass?
He spent ten minutes post bj, limp cock still out, in shock repeating 'best blow job ever'. So yes, yelling I am the penis queen out the car window was justified.
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