How many times do you have to sleep with a guy before you get him to kiss you???
Its sad we have to plan out fun a month in advance. 30 sucks.
HAH. HARRY POTTER CASUAL CONVO HAS BEEN EXTENDED TO DISCUSSING WEATHER. SO PRO
I wish straight boys touched me the way gay boys do.
I rarely go in there. Unless it's for mini cadbury eggs and whiskey.
Sometime between a drunk guy asking me if I'm a Beach person or a lake person WHILE HIS HAND WAS IN HIS FUCKING PANTS or breaking up a lady fight over peewee football league I started to reevaluate my life and self
When I take mushrooms I can feel your presence down there. I can feel where Africa is too.
god. I was just thinkin about the fact that there was a time in our life when we didn't drink.
I cannot even describe to you the most amazing ass I have ever had the pleasure of seeing walk up the stairs in front of me just now.
Look on the bright side, one day you will get to tell your grandkids how grandpappy got roofied on his 21st and woke up in a for sale house missing his shoes
I like that our conversation ended with "im gonna go get pregnant goodnight"
You left me alone with nothing but donuts and my thoughts.
WTF. I was 99% sure I went straight home last night. I just woke up hugging a chair, and my tux pocket has a flask filled with what I think is red bull and gatorade. This has to be your doing.
My co-worker accidentally texted me regarding the threesome him and other one are planning.
Highlight of the day: got a bunch of drunks to sing baby shark.
Randomize
