I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
he made me stop in the middle of the blowjob to turn the tv towrds him. i then proceeded when he stopped me again to get him the remote. fuck me.
Now I have to picture Dave Letterman having sex with all these women. Im the real victim.
she was rubbing her elbow against the fish tank and laughing hysterically then she said I'M THEIR FISHY GOD and watched harry potter
I cant be sure, but i think ive been drunk in this church before.
how do you not remember that?! you winked at the bouncer and then proceeded to grind on him while chugging a beer. i don't know if i should be proud or embarrassed to be your friend
I found out that rock climbing and alcohol does not go together. Ask my broken arm.
Give me a minute. I'm trying to buy moonshine from a railroad worker named "Cowboy."
I witness him finger a girl behind the dj decks yet I'm still going to meet up with him. Wtf is my life
Incase you were wondering. Cooking naked turns into sex. Sex and cooking may lead to house fire....
The important thing is that she is gone, presumably back to the depths of hell from whence she came.
Drunk me left sober me a shower beer in expectation of Hurricane Harvey. Drunk me is the best.
I opened the bathroom door and the starting point gaurd was eating out my art history professor
That would involve putting on clothes and I don't think I can face that right now.
I’ve got a closet full of cosplay outfits and horny boytoy to help me ride out this pandemic
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