They still haven't come up with a cure for a hangover; good luck cancer.
The walk of shame is slightly more complicated when you wake up in the wrong country...
dude i woke up to her making a statue of my morning wood for her sculpture class. HOW THE FUCK do you think i feel about her?
this bucketlist has just become an excuse for me to be slutty, and i'm not even ashamed
I want to spend time with you, and by time, I mean real time. Not your dick in my mouth time.
Clearly I understand physics better when I'm on cocaine
Get in the lobby, you have to sign my boxers
she's traveling up the coast with her camera and a stash of pot cookies eating food from different campuses. said she slept in a closet 2 states away last nite... of course I'm interested
Saxophones in my mind. I swear someone dosed me.
I wish I could be at this cabin banging all these old dads
Before you started puking your brains out, you took a moment to give me the correct order of the Harry potter series
Yes. He better. Or I will shave a penis into his beard while he sleeps.
I saw an episode of cops that had one of my ex husbands on it.
Well I had to have sex with him so he would buy me plan b. The fact that I had sex with someone else last night who couldn't afford it is irrelevant.
Our sex sesh was interrupted by a bunch of hobos fighting outside his apartment.
Randomize
