Yep, it's a dick on our front door. Intentional?
I'm sooo using this pickup line: "Baby, its not the 2.5 inches... Its the 200 pounds behind it"
i have a real life question, do ur boyfriends pretend to be vampires ever?
im goin to the NYE party with a tuxedo painted on my body. i know a girl who does it. wanna join?
if this hangover is indicative of how 2011 is gonna be, i want nothing to do with it
So he ended up throwing a watermelon that he stole from the cafeteria saying "if i cant have it no one can" of the 5th floor.
if i got ashes i think they'd burn a hole into my head with the amount of sins i've committed this year alone and it's only february
when was she peeing in the stairwell? why dont i remember this?
....because generally we only remember 40% of the night each, and have to fill eachother in. And that still leaves 20% that we will never know and its probably for the best
I just almost said to a customer "P as in Pussy"
YO CONGRATULATIONS ON YOUR MÉNAGE À TROIS. YOU GO, GLENN COCO
He made a deal with his real estate agent called fucking in 50 properties for sale
THAT'S NOT NICE
NEITHER WAS PROMISING NOT TO TAKE MY SISTER'S VIRGINITY, THEN PROMPTLY DOING SO
And I mean really who loses their phone in a tree
To the woman who just heard me unscrew my flask in the Denny's women's bathroom at 10am: discretion isn't required but greatly appreciated.
Did you at least share?
Would you still love me if I got a Whatever Forever tattoo? It's like the Emo kids' Live Laugh Love
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