It's a law of Nature, girls naturally hate eachother. It's only when there's no competition for a mate that they can hate each other a little less and then are appropriated into the "BFF" slot.
Remember when we were trying to guess how many people could fit in my shower? The answer is 7
she said "feliz nobby job" then proceeded to give me a blowjob.
Do you think my parents will accept my drinking habits more if I told them I like to drink every night because I take good shits the next morning?
The dry cleaners wouldn't even take our clothes. That's how bad of a night it was.
I have an explanation for how we got this drunk this fast... but you wont like it. We are officially in complete liver failure.
Apparently I told his new girlfriend to stop swallowing because she's getting fat. Oh, and I yelled this across a large room
Dude, he threw a pool chair off of an 8 story building. It was a successful night I'd say.
I also witnessed that same parrot perched on the head of a man grinding with a girl.
Interesting. As a girl I don't know how okay I would be with that.
She seemed pretty into it.
is it too much for me to say that i have a ziplock bag with ice in it in my underwear?
I don't think I'm gonna survive today. I don't remember how to walk. I must crawl 6 blocks to my bed.
Let's celebrate our freedom by getting high and doing stupid shit.
Somehow my family started talking about sex toys at breakfast.
yeah, my mom got it for me because it had animals AND alcohol.
I don’t know how to sext. What do you say? What do you don’t say?
Just start quoting WAP lyrics.
Randomize
