he asked me to smell his eyeballs.
yes he's amazing in bed. he made me like, black out. everything went black it was weird. so yes, i'd fuck him again. plus, he has every season of buffy on dvd
there comes a time in a mans life when you ask yourself, will i fake love for blowjobs? and the answer is always yes
well when do great stories at the expense of people's relationships become a bad thing?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've see this movie. You sext me after the bar and fall asleep mid sentence. Roll credits.
it was either that or behind a dumpster, and i am way too pretty to pee behind a dumpster
I still don't understand how I went from crying to blowing you in like two minutes.
You were air-planing a joint into my mouth while I was crying naked in the bath tub.
Best Friends For Life.
Congrats. You are not detrimental enough to my psyche to be discussed during this mornings therapy appointment. Please follow up next week to see if you made the cut.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I began mixing captain Morgan and jack daniels and called it captain jack sparrow. I puked. a lot.
So apparently I ended up throwing my clothes in the toilet after getting kicked out of TQ and ran around the neighborhood in my boxers. Works gonna suck hard once this hangover kicks in. Also: I lost a shoe so looks like flipflops for the rest of winter
Please tell me last night did not happen and there is another reason why my phone smells like ranch sauce ahahah
Best sex of my life. But I think it's because I like his apartment. Really nice bed sheets. High vaulted ceilings. I wanted to lay there forever.
You're getting old. Was it located in a nice school district for your future offspring?
he gave me a flinstones gummy vitamin and was like, "ya know.. because of ebola."
Well, she yelled at the stripper that she couldn't lick whipped cream off his nipples because she is lactose intolerant.
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