I didnt attack him, I heard I threw a chair at him- big difference. And you know Im not a creep so whatever
this kid down the hall keeps banging on his drums...i feel like i'm living in jumanji
I just woke up my dad to tell him that i made out with the drummer. He wasnt as excited as I was.
he somehow instantly knew i was from vermont.
it probably had something to do with chasing your soco with maply syrup.
does pizza still have the 5 second rule in the bubble bath?
I'm this close to masturbating to his profile pics from 2006
you were leaning up against the wall pulling your shirt up asking girls to dance on you. your courage to do that is both admirable and frightening.
Is singing the Indiana Jones theme while I put on the condom off limits?
I'm not the one who can lose their erection, so it's fair game
Literally the only reason we didnt get arrested was because the cop said I reminded him of Steve Stifler from American Pie
Please don't make me ever have to hear the words "the Queen's gynecologist" ever again.
I actually had to tell him that sex doesn't replace my Tupperware. Our relationship has reached a weird level.
I don't know how a coffee date turned into road head. But hey
Help I can't tell if I'm sexually attracted to Bill Nye
Oh.
You came to the right person.
i have a serious question for you... Why I am i not wearing any pants?
Remember the Giant sandworm from the movie Dune? Well that's about how big his dick is. No bulshit.
Randomize
