i want to give my vagina back to god and say no thank you
This threesome is so guaranteed that dinner feels like a charade
Let's just say a refrigerator got involved and after that I had to send him home.
I just ate a can of beans for dinner so I can afford to go get a 5$ bottle of wine. I really did not think these choices would still be necessary at age 25.
Things I just found under my covers: protein bar, string cheese, vibrator.
I am "lost the control of my head" high right now.
She has a tattoo on her inner thigh that's an x with a long dotted line. So after she passed out I signed it. Dunno what else I was supposed to do...
How can someone be so bad at fingering? It's such a simple concept
I can't bring an entire liter in the bar in my purse. I mean I can. I might. I'm probably gonna.
bro i dont care how hot she was, you try keeping it up with the amount of puppet he had in her room, it was like fucking in jeff dunham's house
there was a keg and pinata at my uncles funeral, and a bunch of scary looking biker dudes showed up to pay their respects. i need to strive to be more like him.
Is it festive if I masturbate to Santa porn?
I'll send you pictures of my nipples so you don't feel left out.
I am googling "notable people who had syphilis"
Pretty sure I was naked for most of the night.....success
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