Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
Guess what? I had way too much to drink today. I'm properly wasted. Doing chores and playing video games while drunk. It's the nexus of stupidity and responsibility.
planned parenthood is perfect for picking up chicks...they all put out
Is it sad that I find it completely normal that I just took batteries out of a vibrator to put them in a pencil sharpener so I could do homework?
I find this completely acceptable.
He;s fine. He just kept saying "hurricane Gordon is coming to shore" and flexed his muscles a lot.
Almost propositioned sex in exchange for a study guide for my final tomorrow.
hey. so did i get tied up by a jumprope last night?
Some old truck driver just made me smell his beard I hope tonight turns out better
I'm sorry and I love you. One day we're going to live in a whore mansion with our babies and make boys cry.
Remember when we partied so hard that dude died and it cockblocked you hooking up with my sister?
I forgot that happened. That's the second dude that died on a vacation I've been on
I wish you were awake and high the same times I was awake and high. And also in the same state. So we can fuck passionately.
IF IT WALKS LIKE A MANWHORE AND QUACKS LIKE A MANWHORE, HE PROBABLY HAS VD.
Iron Man just asked me back to his place... Not sure I can handle this. Wish me luck.
I'm gonna go take a shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
Call me Sherlock Holmes, bitch.
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