let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it.
You saying I have a drinkingg problem is like saying Superman has a flying problem.
I just shot gunned a beer for your birthday alone because you're too hungover at midnight to get out of bed. I'm not sure which of us is the bigger loser
Im drunk and they're making me play quiet game. Im scared. Baptists are here
It' a whole new level of walk of shame. I'm carrying his sheets since I have a washer/dryer.
He somehow managed to accomplish karate kicking a door down, cockblocking my friend in the room, and writing "tits" all over the house with a blue sharpie.
Just blew a perc off the traytable on my flight, spring break has begun!!
I would say I am sorry for punching you last night, but I found the pictures you took on my camera and it all came rushing back.
Unintentional and slightly frustrating adventures are basically all I'm good for. Expect heart palpitations, cheap food, and homeless men serenading us.
I'm at a new rock bottom. Malibu on ice at work because it's the only thing they've got and no mixers.
I like how you were offering me $50 last night to come home with you to take care of you and your dog
Glad I can drunkenly remember to not get tomatoes on my Mexican pizza but can't tell a guy to keep his hands off my ass
It would be weird sobbing cry sex.
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
It's like I'm tryna ride my horse through dennis quaid’s vineyard
That's a sexy sentence
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