I told him it tasted like his mom..needless to say we were asked to leave.
Yeah true. Damn vaginas. They're ruining the world.
I'm starting a business if you want to get involved
oh boy
Its called Cut N Tugs, haircuts with happy endings
She is my favorite of all the girls you have fucked. Other than me.
Thats two for two birthdays where I've gotten the "alcoholism runs in the family" speech
There's banana everywhere and your hamster may or may not have stayed the night in the microwave...
I just sprawled out on my bedroom floor and cried while shoveling chocolate into my mouth.. I should not have Bacardi at home
Was that your vagina? Received a text pic from a number I didn't recognize. Shaved, so no hair color cues. But it looked like your lips.
A guy in the dance floor is raising the roof with an axe in hand. I love Halloween.
Blocking me on Facebook doesn't change the fact that you've had my penis in my mouth. So there's that.
She made me keep my boots on and say "you're welcome darlin" after every orgasm......so yes it was an awesome night.
Why the fuck is there raw bacon in my bra. I don't even have a stove.
Being single again makes you realize how guys can go from licking your asshole one night to never texting you again
reminiscing on last night: why the fuck did I feel the need to stand on chairs everytime we took a jello shot?
Yep. Just fucked a 34 year old on the football field where we both went to high school. That's a story for the grandkids.
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