i may not always bang 16 year olds but when i do, i prefer hot ones
You wouldn't stop asking the hibachi cook if his knife was a hattori hanzo
I just left during the middle of Chemistry to go throw up in the bathroom....and you laughed at my travel toothbrush.
Peach margaritas. And fuck whatever you're about to say, the girl to guy ratio is like 6:1. I need those odds
something isn't right. i offered to be his sex slave and he declined..
You had your dick do your apologizing for you last night. Apology accepted.
IT'S A FUCKING GIANT POKEBALL MAD OUT OF TINY ROSES
I didn't realize how trashy of a night we had.
Welllll, you did eat a cherry out of my pussy. So I think that classes it up a little.
I hope you get a lego stuck in your dickhole
The poop emoji wasn't even in my recents. Does that mean I'm growing up?
Go have sex with him right now! Drunk sex is the best sex.
I know but these gold fish are so much better
uh...sober saturday NEVER has a good ring to it.
she keeps trying to brush her hair with leaves and insisting she's not high
His relationship is over as soon as he sees my boobs. I’m going to titty fuck my way into his heart
Planning a vacation around my dog. I have become one of those dog moms.
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