Ill pay your DUI fine if you just come see me nooooowwwww
no. its 2:30am and im not going to jail for a booty call
Housekeeping called in a homicide detective. Just spent an hour explaining that we had vigorous hotel vacation sex five times, even though I was having a heavy flow day. It'll definitely be what you call a memorable honeymoon.
I woke up to blood crusted on my face. I don't understand
team rage. no explanation necessary
its not fair. if i was a guy, i'd be getting a high five for banging two in one night.
The poor thing was so drunk they wheeled his motorcycle into the bar. I just dropped him off to pick it up. The best walk of shame ever.
is it possible that there's a used condom holding pennies in my bra? I'm so confused on what happened last night...
All I saw was a purple blob and poking out from under was part of a green shirt. Took me a minute to realize it was him under that beast.Thought I should ask if he was actually breathing and conscience but then I saw him slowly exploring what few brave men have done before.
I'm pretty sure I did the Macarena with a gay guy while shot gunning a beer
He's sweet and rough. A wonderful contradiction. He's the starburst of sex.
Pretty sure that propositioning you to fly across the country for sex fest '13 isn't something my husband would approve of.
I have to drop off my inflatable penis costume at the bar for my bartender. Do you think you could meet me there at like 630?
I just saw a kid on iowa campus story that looked like the guy i made out with on spring break.
I SWEAR TO ALL THAT IS HOLY I HAVE NEVER WIPED MY GENITALIA ON ANY TYPE OF EMERGENCY RESPONSE VEHICLE!!
I woke up naked wrapped in a wolf blanket on the bathroom floor
Btw, apparently no one knows who ordered the pizzas for the after party, no one paid, and the delivery lady made a celeb shot, took a beer, then said she'd be back later to finish up the game...
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