I almost didn't recognize her with a shirt on.
so im kinda of nervous about the whole bust inside event last night
She wanted to test if her costume allows her to still have sex in it. It does
Homeless guy on the metro is drinking beer out of a coke bottle. Hello friend.
i don't even remember going to get food. i think i got gas too.
i will be the first lesbian to ever fail women's studies.
Update is I am officially king of Gettysburg. Tam and I are being threaded like royakt. In bought e ruined a drink
I HAVE A BLACK EYE FROM A DILDO!! IM GETTING MARRIED TOMORROW! THIS IS NOT A MISSUNDERSTANDING!
I'd cum for enchiladas.
You're about to makeout with my vagina, I don't think she cares that you haven't brushed your teeth. Just get over here!
This was the first time I've ever pushed myself until I vomited. Sorry, random couple laying on a dock at 8:30am. I would have picked a better spot so you didn't have to watch/listen to me vomit, but you guys were being MAD quiet. I had no idea you were there.
I feel as if I need Plan B just being in the same room as them for more than 5 minutes.
I don't trust a bar IN TENNESSEE that doesn't have Jack Daniels.
Just threw up in the trash can at my desk. I guess "beating the hangover" eventually leads to this.
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
Randomize
