someone threw a dead crab at me
it seems that i get a boner from just about everything now
My life would be so much easier if i could just ride around in the cash cab all day
reasons why jon gosselin is probably ur biological father: 1. ur half asian 2. hes everyones biological father 3. u wear ed hardy
sounds legit
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I love online classes. Spent the last part of my lecture taking apart a teabag and filling it with weed.
Just saw a woman in a hospital gown with a Steelers jersey on top smoking a cigarette while hooked up to an IV outside of the hospital. I love Pittsburgh.
Well, find something you can use as a snorkel and be aware of your surroundings.
they still hired me even though my background check came back with a warrent for my arrest.
He just took a bite of each taco bell burrito and hid them throughout my apartment. this was 2 weeks ago and have found 30 burritos so far
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Pulled over to puke on the way to sign closing papers on the house...Good sign of responsibility.
Hey I can officially say I made out with a drug lord.
Your grandma found me sleeping in my car this morning, and she wanted me to tell you she was going to church... Also, last night was amazing.
This is a long quiet interstate without somebody to sext.
I'm just really glad SD weather is so erratic so I can get away with wearing a scarf in May to cover up these hickeys.
i had sex with a girl named after a fruit last night and it was the best thing to happen to me in 2020
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