What should i be more turned off about... his massive collection of condoms or that he asked me to sign my name by number 68 on the list posted on his wall?
I think the two go hand in hand.
I'm sorry, but you without makeup is like christmas without presents.
$1.99 mimosas n bloodys til 3. Happy hour starts at 4. We're gonna ride the mechanical bull to kill the hour inbetween.
Please take video.
Let's create a 16 and pregnant drinking game
High as balls & about to be tanning. Helloooo 15 minute vacay.
He gave them shots of purell and called it "acid rain" jello shots. They took them.
I hate freshman.
He woke me up at 3 am kneeling on the floor pissing and yelling, then he passed out and stole my comforter. I want a new roommate...
you started looking at my couch laughing and saying to it "she thinks I'm talking to you" then proceeded to laugh and talk to the couch some more.
A pack of naked men just sprinted down the street screaming in German. It's 5 AM.
On NPR this morning, farmers are feeding weed to pigs. The result: pot bacon. Life just got better.
After an hour of searching for my pants, we had three people looking. They were finally found in the oven.
he asked me where I was going to school, and then we started having sex, and I answered his question forty five minutes later after we were done. It was the chilliest thing ever.
All I ever do is give guys anxiety problems and flaccid penises.
Woke up on my sisters couch, and it was like the start of a Terminator movie,my brother in law was passed out on the floor naked in the fetal position. We now call him Arnold. It was an epic night.
I’m not sure she knows my name. She introduced me as “the fuck toy”
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