I just spent the last hour reading customer reviews on amazon.com for the book "it hurts when I poop." Send help.
When I saw him standing at full height, I realized exactly how much his body structure reminds me of his penis.
I just answered "If only I knew" for a quiz in criminology, she loved it. I got an A
Don't you ever say "drinking at 2" as if it's a bad thing again. I'm asking you as a friend here.
Did Kevin really put his bar tab under the name Hercules last night?
Theres was an instant understanding between us being drunk on the trampoline at four in the morning and the people walking down the road at the same time
My vagina is depressed thinking about her future.
Convinced lucas all the eggs in the fridge are fertilized and now he's crying.
ugh he was not leaving in the morning so i tried to scare him by crying and saying i wasnt ready to lose my virginity.
I'm so glad I was blacked out while I was going all exorcist in the bathroom. That's so not a memory I want.
I woke up on a boat next to an extremely attractive man wearing nothing but a life jacket. Neither one of us owns a boat...
So our night ended with 6 cruisers, a fire truck, and an ambulance. Also, lots of blood. How was yours?
is it bad that there is a girl in my bed right now and the only thing i can think about is the fect that its after 3am which means i cant order jimmyjohns unitll tomorrow?
my penis made a compromise with my morals
That awkward moment when you were so fucking drunk lastnight that you and your fuck buddy wake up wearing eachother's clothing covered in hot cheetos with his cat curled up between your heads meowing. Thought you'd appreciate this moment with me.
Randomize
