when you close your eyes do you see, that mystical creature will be me.
who is this?
I asked him if he wanted to go to my place, he said i could go but he was gonna stay
she thought Martin Luther king was a president at one time. I love knowing I broke up with my ex and this is what he ends up dating.
And we started making out. She asked me to pick a number between 1 and 10. I said 6. She took me to her room. A few minutes later I wasnt a virgin. DUDE I WAS GOING TO SAY 2.
I was in bed at 845. Affairs take a lot out of people
there was a trail of blood coming out of one of the bathroom stalls. thought of you
This is God's way of telling me He loves me and wants me to be a cocktease.
Go forth my daughter and give blue balls to all who may gaze upon your tits.
Waking up to find your mom holding your birth control pills and telling you I suggest you take this
Then years and years after that I will send you a picture of my warped vagina from all the kids that I had.
Just fell off my bed trying to pose and take a nude for you. Probably broke my wrist
Did he think I was flirting with him when I ordered a hot dog bc no
Well there's a microwave in my yard now too. I fucking Bruce/Caitlyn Jennered decathloned that bitch.
If he wants a future he'd best figure out the calendar function on his phone. If he can invite you to his penis he can invite you to his google cal.
u ever get horny for food. i ordered a bunch of crepes and its doin it 4 me
I had more orgasms than hours of sleep this weekend. I’m going to keep him around a while
Randomize
