There was a fist fight in my basement last night at four in the morning, in case you were wondering
i'm sure her mom would have loved to find out her daughter has herpes via facebook
if i get an abortion, then will you go out with me?
He took a shot, then proceeded to puke into the bucket he was iceing his broken foot in
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Freedom, beauty, truth, and love to all. I also probably have syphilis
Things i learned at work today: do not put mayonaise on a tattoo, it will get infected.
I was wondering how I got the burn marks on my boobs and then I remembered....
The baked potato bra?
So im waiting for someone at grand central and i look up AND THE ENTIRE BALCONY IS FILLED WITH BOY SCOUTS I AM TERRIFIED
Sushi was just eaten off my naked body. I feel like I can die in peace now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just accidentally flashed my junk to the lady helping me try on suits, it was cold in there, I don't think she was impressed.
She came so hard that after she finished, she started a slow clap and then told me she pulled a muscle.
If I win the lottery I'm going to hire someone to skywrite "FUCKTARD" over his house. That much anger.
Do you want me to add this to the list of actions I will state at your intervention
Mike's my new hero. There's a flagpole of hook-up's bras on his porch and a week's supply of beer in his fridge but he still has a great job.
I got my gum stuck on his balls.
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