I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
that shirt you're wearing that says "officially single" makes me think you'll be that way for a really long fucking time.
The world would be so much better with thought bubbles.
you washed your face with toilet water last night.. i tried to stop you but you wouldn't have it.
at one point last night, you were literally auctioning me off. "reeeally drunk hot girl ! we'll start the bidding at an ice cold corona. oh, we have a bidder! do i hear a shot of whiskey? going once, going twice.."
youre welcome
I'm cooking a can of baked beans on the baseboard heater. It is too early in the semester to be this poor.
we went to the bar with our boss and you tried to play a song from the atm machine
Faces of meth called, they want their look back.
Wake your ass up this is a day of horror where we get horroibly drunk and sleep with tandom dudes who wish they were super heros ps i havr stuffed animals over my privates im a petting zoo this year
He called himself Jesus all night but I'm not sure if that's his real name or not
There will always be a place in my black heart for him because he gave me my first sex-induced orgasm. While you slept on the bunk above.
And the cops are back. At least my pants are on this time
You're telling that to the kid drinking Jack in nothing but a graduation cap
she threw up on her exam, awkwardly wiped it off with her sleeve and continued writing.
am drunk, naked, and blow drying cat. need adult supervision
Randomize
