I want to snug with you.
You want my snuggie?
this other lifeguard and I are actually considering paying a kid to shit in the pool
so i told my doctor my symptons and she just shook her head at me
just puked in a purse in the store. some girl asked if i was gonna buy it now and i laughed and asked her why id want a bag some dude just puked in. her face looked like she saw the devil.
look out your window.... he's holding his iphone up like a boombox playing you beach boys
There's a mouse. In the house. By the cans. With some pans. Release the cat. To eat his hat. Sorry about the mess. Of my breakfest.
No but seriously, there's a fucking mouse in the house by the beer cans
the party has pretty much ended, it's just 20ish of us jumping and grinding to music from some guy's phone in the corner.
Do you think she will like "you don't have to swallow this time" gift certificates for Xmas?
Ok fuckface listen up and listen good. 1.calling dibs on a chick out of your league is like applying for a job with a highlight video 2. dont fucking ski down the stairs again 3. if you do, put it on your highlight video
I just looked into the eyes of the man whose car I peed on last night
How drunk is "too drunk" for candlelight service?
Still at home. Videotaping hamsters.
On another note I am sitting in my bed naked, buzzed, and working on a notecard for my 8:00am test tomorrow. I think I need to make better choices.
I'm sitting naked on my bathroom floor and it remind me of us.
That's my way of saying I miss you
You laid on the floor and pet their rug. and then demanded Voss water.
Randomize
