Can't talk. I'm at the Tulsa Sheriff's office with a bunch of rednecks. I bet I'm the only one that voted for Obama.
I bet you're the only one who could read the ballott.
he shattered multiple jars of jelly against his roommates doors last night. this morning the asian one wouldn't even talk to him because he thought he was gonna get beaten up
I don't know what happened last night but I woke up this morning with "wolf pack" tattooed on my knuckles.
i lost virginity while listening to candy shop. something in my life has finally gone right.
I have a spoon shaped bruise on my ass...
The good news is the house is clean, the bad news is someone redecorated the bonus room by spray painting "free willy" on the wall in honor of the girl who passed out in there last night.
you seemed to enjoy falling down hill
wow, never heard the last few months of my life put so succint
Was almost hungover and got scared, skipped hungover, back to hammered. Fuck real life
Woke up naked next to Alex and he was braiding my hair and then commented on how healthy my hair was. I don't even know anymore..
Why is there uncooked bacon under my bed?
You insisted on taking it to bed with you. You grabbed it out of the fridge while mumbling "If I leave this out, you fuckers are just going to ruin it."
You told me you had two boobs that want to be naked for me. I'm just following up on your request.
I still feel like a bad person. A shoulder to cry on became a dick to suck.
Okay so the couple who keep propositioning people for threeways are def siblings not bf/gf
So are you gonna do it or no you said they're hot
Wow first he impregnates you then he won't send you the sex tape you made together? Where has chivalry gone?
But we have bathrooms and they dont
Randomize
