I called her the wrong name twice and she still called me back this morning. DO I still wait two days to call her back?
Yep, it's a dick on our front door. Intentional?
We're listening to the crystal method and doing bong hits for jesus
How are you texting me from 1998?
He passed out so we kept throwing water on him, he got excited and asked if we were at the wave pool.
I have no idea. I woke up naked on someones toilet locked in the bathroom with two baby kittens.
you called me at 4 in the morning and invited me over for pasta and a late night viewing of titanic.
We're in the kiddy pool eating marshmellows and drinking wine out of a box. Please dress casual.
Aren't you proud to know somebody who texts you "manifold facade" while dumping frozen colada mix into a blender of rum
I almost went home with him but then my hydroxycut fell out of my purse at the bar and I ran away
Pre-chapter meeting quote: "Why is there a bun literally taped to the shelf? That doesn't even make sense when you're drunk, who does that?"
lets do drugs on my lunch break tomorrow
I almost forgot to feel shameful, if that answers your question.
just creeped your profile pictures and you should feel satisfied in knowing that you had great eyebrows even before people started drawing them on
I'm definitely not mad. My best friend is dating my drug dealer, it's impossible to be mad.
i wish i could say that was the first 40 year old woman from the circus I nailed
Randomize
