There are just some things I refuse to put in my mouth.
Just saw an Asian guy riding his razor scooter to class. Dreams do come true
My 10 year old brother handed me a pack of condoms and said "here, i don't wanna be an uncle yet."
Fuck him tonight for the both of us. We're still tag-teaming in spirit.
Why is there blood and lettuce everywhere?
He shaved off his eyebrows. This is not my life.
All I know is she had me sitting on the kitchen floor with her little Pomeranian eating potato chips And shredded cheese. I don't even know dude. I don't even know.
He showed up to a baby shower and kept telling everyone he was late because he was pregaming. And then tried honking the pregnant girls tits
Some girl came up to us crying that she lost her phone and you said "if it's meant to be, let it be"
I just did shots of fireball with my dad in a car wash. How's your pregaming going?
so in other words, they broke and fell off and I ate a gummy life saver off of his balls
best way to lose double chin? blow jobs. I am fucking hurting.
Is it completely inappropriate to base my morning after pill purchase on if they sell coffee or not?
I just got a rock from a customer. Weirdest. Tip. Ever.
When the nurses wouldn't let him smoke in the hospital he decided to just roll around on the floor.
Randomize
