just drove past a church sign that said "jesus got 'er done" ... welcome to the south
didn't know how to tell his mom I was confused about how long we'd been together because we banged for a full year before making it official
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
You passed out and she managed to carry you all the way back to your dorm last night. I believe your testicles now her property.
He literally had a note from his doctor saying he wasn't allowed to finger me for a week
You thought last year was bad... a guy dressed as a clown showed up with cocaine
Dude you don't even know. I spilled the tequila and it took 4 people to stop me from drinking it off the table.
Its like the unofficial aniversary of the loss of her virginity. And I will be giving tours of the spot they did it in and showing how I'm serious when I say the grass doesn't grow there anymore.
Her fucking playlist had randy newman on it. It was like woody was watching the whole time.
Dude where are you? I've been here an hour and all I've done is get head from a random in the stairwell.
I'm like going proud parent over you doing drugs, this is so wrong.
I just looked down and realized I was walking around in briefs and a ninja turtle shirt; and for a second, I thought I was 8 again... Weird...
You would seriously think I would remember who put themselves in my phone as Burt Rynalds Moustache, but I don't. And I need to be reminded of who you are so I can give you a proper high five.
I'm trying to fuck him and feed him. I don't understand why it isn't working.
I just had a visual of u banging and screaming at him at the same time.
Randomize
