THE most awkward situation I have EVER been in
Also, I just threw up a little in my mouth and had to act like everything was totally fine.
She came to work with 6 additional layers of make-up, playing every Nickelback song about explicit teen sex, and with a dozen twinkies she bet she could finish without chewing any. I'm investing in a rape whistle.
She thought someone was breaking in but when I said it was me she got even angrier and threw a coffee mug at my head.
he got mad when I told him his flaccid penis looked like a sleeping kitten
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just saw her shopping list. The only things on it are blackberries, hot fudge and condoms. I almost don't wanna know. Almost.
You don't have to believe me. My vagina knows it happened.
She had forties taped to her hands and was trying to give him a hand job while he was passed out, with everyone in the living room.
I will never in my life forget you letting the cat lick your tongue
You should have. Partying with 60 year olds and batman is so much better than partying with bitches our age.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Adults smoke weed in footie pajamas man. You just gotta accept me for who I am.
we talked about the guy being eaten by the anaconda.. Then I proceeded to blow him
She made me undress her with my teeth...explains the button in my shit this morning...
Thank god for Taco Bell keeping you out of jail
I really need to get a comfy set of masturbating shoes
Sorry I missed your call earlier. I was getting high with my high school band teacher.
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