oh ps. last night you kept telling me to calm down because everything was fine cause you were getting "arab money"...
he got promoted. that means i have now given my new boss chlaymida. i need a new job.
oh and if she happens to say anything about a cantalope and tissues... just go with it
I think all I remember saying is, "I love Chris Berman's voice" and then I passed out
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't know if it's lucky or if it really just makes my tits look THAT good, but I've never NOT gotten laid with this bra on
if things do not go as planned you should see me walking down I81 blindfolded and pantless
Actually some of the best sex I've had involved a lot of laughing.
How small IS your cock?
My jeans are ripped and her glitter was all over me.. My walk of shame looked like I fucked a unicorn last night
He walked up to anal ring toss like he was going to win you a teddy bear
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just delivered a pizza to a holiday inn and a delivery driver from Me n Ed's walked up at the same time, we both were going to the same floor so we stood in the elevator making small talk about delivery stuff, but a small part of me wanted to deck him, stand over him and shout,"FOR THE HUT MOTHERFUCKER, FOR THE HUT!"
Jesus christ, don't start a pizza delivery gang war.
She asked how comfortable I was with her while we were in the shower. She then proceeded to pee in said shower.
I've had pants off for 3 hours now. America.
My neck feel like I've been sucking Goliath's dick.
He makes me want to cheat on my other 3 boyfriends..
No pussy. I don't care what time of year it is you do not look tough wearing sandals. Honestly you look like a high school guidance counselor.
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