she tasted like a mixture of sweat and destiny
i hate that you can chart my weight gain through my facebook pictures.
I'm done. I'm tired and there's a topless pic of me floating around the nation's largest 3G network.
I don't want the last thing I hear while alive to be Jesse's Girl
But I was triple fisting doubles, that's bound to be a good time. Might have a broken collarbone though.
You're not drunk til you wake your roommates up screaming at your ceiling fan
And everyone was looking at me because it was cold and I was drunk and may have screamed "oh fuck" ... You know what, fuck that. What do people think they're getting at Denny's 2 in the morning
You were definitely drunk. You gave him an otphj in front of everyone.
I'm literally taking a shit naked holding a bottle of wine.
I wore home his HoHoHo boxers. I've never felt such a connection to an article of clothing.
Are you proud of yourself?
ask me again when I'm drunk. Then fuck off.
Right as the plane left the gate the brownies kicked in. I dont think the guy next to me appreciated my engine noises as we took off
After walking ten blocks barefoot in Boston I've concluded drunk me needs to make better decisions.
lmao he sent me a snapped but i'm afraid to open.
i think i have dick pic PTSD.
So bottomless mimosas = me waking up in a truck bed in a random neighborhood with no purse or phone or idea how I got there.
Randomize
