You said your dick dragged you up the stairs
Handle of 100 proof captain dressed like a pilgrim here we go
He just said "fuck you" to the bowl he's eating things out of
Some mysterious chinese delivery man dropped off 2 free egg rolls. Clutch
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My vagina is depressed thinking about her future.
Tipped our cab with a photo booth pic of us, a paper dollar, a dollar in quarters, a crest white strip. And a tanning pass valid in boston
Boys DO look like their dicks. Its like dogs.
We're doing it in the traditional way of discussing why we dislike each other while sharing a bowl. Just like the natives do.
It's cosmic balancing. My vagina is an instrument of karmic retribution.
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I'm not gonna lie. The thing I miss the most about him right now is the air conditioned hotel rooms.
Something like that. Healthy diet of beer, ranch sunflower seeds and sex keeps me young.
Its a holy bong. We had to bless the holy bong water.
Your normalization of crazy is frightening.
so, i guess i gotta chill on showing up to work hungover... someone anonymously left a bible in my work mailbox (no one else got one)
I may have broke the toilet masturbating. On a positive note the floor is really clean now.
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