it was really bad. he went around saying "I want you inside of me" to everyone.
At the pride parade. It's not even noon and I'm drunk as shit... for equality of course
Well he's not exactly single.. It's like an open relationship his wife doesn't know about
apparently i told her i wouldn't press charges if she brought me food.
If you know any fat girls who would pay me for sex, I am low on money and morals right now
i've really grown. sober me left an alarm for me every 10 minutes that said NO FAT CHICKS!
dude. im stealing that.
tell your freshman friends. will trade sexual favors for swipes. ive got dinner tomorrow open and lunch on wed
When I say I took advantage of you when you were drunk, I mean that I convinced you to let me paint cute little panda bears on all of your toenails.
I just burped smoke on the bus. Hello 6:48am
So I found a skull ring inside me this morning. I'm assuming its yours, so I'll leave it in my mailbox for you - it looks expensive.
Just read 119 best sex positions. I wanna try 107 of them. Can I put you down for 50?
I told her shower beers are even better when you have someone in there with you and she said she's been looking for a new drinking buddy. It's a goooooo
what the hell makes you think you get to decide what your going to wear at our weding!?
i found you laying on the floor staring at the ceiling and you kept muttering "why" in various inflections.
Bud light made chelada as a breakfast for those of us with class at 8 am
Randomize
