Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(919): View more from North Carolina

um i just realized that some of the people at my family reunion look inbred. thats not a good sign.

(1-919): View more from North Carolina

hahaha beady eyes set close together? defs inbred.

(919): View more from North Carolina

my dads cousin just put a cig in his dogs mouth and says, "look its a commercial for newport!" holy hell i hope im adopted.

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(919): um i just realized that some of the people at my family reunion look inbred. thats not a good sign. (1-919): hahaha beady eyes set close together? defs inbred. (919): my dads cousin just put a cig in his dogs mouth and says, "look its a commercial for newport!" holy hell i hope im adopted. http://tfl.nu/05eg

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(315): View more from New York

Scratch that. Lia's boy toy's brother has a gorilla costume. This is gonna be great.

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(315): Scratch that. Lia's boy toy's brother has a gorilla costume. This is gonna be great. http://tfl.nu/l6zl

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(808): View more from Hawaii

Spaghetti and Car Bombs, good idea or what will end up on the bar in a few minutes?

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(808): Spaghetti and Car Bombs, good idea or what will end up on the bar in a few minutes? http://tfl.nu/1azu

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(404): View more from Georgia

I just saw fred flintstone in my fruity pebbles!

(1-404): View more from Georgia

what drugs are you on?

(404): View more from Georgia

none, cept for the pain medication i got prescribed by the doc: it said 2 pills every 3 hours, but I took 6 cuz i'll be away from home later

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(404): I just saw fred flintstone in my fruity pebbles! (1-404): what drugs are you on? (404): none, cept for the pain medication i got prescribed by the doc: it said 2 pills every 3 hours, but I took 6 cuz i'll be away from home later http://tfl.nu/mtfu

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(631): View more from New York

our school mascot just walked into class and threw condoms everywhere. welcome to college

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(631): our school mascot just walked into class and threw condoms everywhere. welcome to college http://tfl.nu/4e15

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(201): View more from New Jersey

He brought over a 20 dollar bottle of wine. Who does that? This is college.

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(201): He brought over a 20 dollar bottle of wine. Who does that? This is college. http://tfl.nu/379h

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(401): View more from Rhode Island

I'm on the bus and the homeless person in the seat to my left is jacking off to a cartoon picture he found. He's now cleaning up with mitten I dropped.

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(401): I'm on the bus and the homeless person in the seat to my left is jacking off to a cartoon picture he found. He's now cleaning up with mitten I dropped. http://tfl.nu/rhrp

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(201): View more from New Jersey

Got one of only two perfect scores in the class on the quiz I took drunk. This is not a good thing for me to have learned about myself.

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(201): Got one of only two perfect scores in the class on the quiz I took drunk. This is not a good thing for me to have learned about myself. http://tfl.nu/3rwg

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(251): View more from Alabama

I've been watching anime, masturbating and eating nutella for three days. I hope she never comes back.

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(251): I've been watching anime, masturbating and eating nutella for three days. I hope she never comes back. http://tfl.nu/rqzq

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(215): View more from Pennsylvania

Should I feel bad that I fucked her and made her ride my little brothers razor scooter home?

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(215): Should I feel bad that I fucked her and made her ride my little brothers razor scooter home? http://tfl.nu/2ss6

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(415): View more from California

I'm really proud of her, she waited until she was on tiled floor to start puking on the ground

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(415): I'm really proud of her, she waited until she was on tiled floor to start puking on the ground http://tfl.nu/kjbx

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(847): View more from Illinois

At least I know she didn't hear me crawl to my room. Or did I walk on my hands? Fuck if I know.

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(847): At least I know she didn't hear me crawl to my room. Or did I walk on my hands? Fuck if I know. http://tfl.nu/0yrr

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(732): View more from New Jersey

I just feel like I should give it a rest. I'm too old to be drinking bottles of grey goose and falling into koi ponds.

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(732): I just feel like I should give it a rest. I'm too old to be drinking bottles of grey goose and falling into koi ponds. http://tfl.nu/t1fp

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(630): View more from Illinois

Thanksgiving. This year's theme: I am thankful that I still have a liver.

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(630): Thanksgiving. This year's theme: I am thankful that I still have a liver. http://tfl.nu/1ykf

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(409): View more from Texas

I hate him and his pretentious your-sleeping-in-the-wet-spot look.

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(409): I hate him and his pretentious your-sleeping-in-the-wet-spot look. http://tfl.nu/inz2

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