Third unemployed latin in my bed this week. I'm on a roll
Is it morally objectionable to repay my debt to society with drug money?
You remember that guy Joey? The pastors son that plays Jesus every year?
Yeah?
Stuck it in his pooper.
The first song on his sex mix was "highway to the danger zone"
So you have no knowledge as to why I am hearing loud repetitive mooing from next door?
I haven't seen any of my friends sober in months. We have classes together.
Next time I say "Watch this" Get me the fuck out of the bar.
shes taking the breakup well, i walked in on her naked passed out wearing a turban with a bag of peanut butter choc chips in hand at 5 in the afternoon.
he got all sad that i was going to fuck his roommate, so i just asked him if it would make him feel better if I let him motor boat me. i am such a saint.
I just threw up all of my lunch in the Barnes & Nobles parking lot. Rockbottom tastes like a veggie burger, in case you were wondering.
If I had a mugshot, I would totally use it as my main picture on Tinder, just to keep it interesting.
It's simple. He fucks me at his place and I fuck him at my place. It's like man of the house gets to top.
STOP FUCKING TELLING PEOPLE ABOUT THAT TIME THAT GUY CAME ON MY FACE WHILE I WAS ASLEEP!!!
Are you playing pokemon in the dark and sexting? I can't be mad at that.
You were lost on foot. Texted us and told us that N*Sync couldn't save you, and then you "met Jesus" in your car.
Randomize
