You know what, matt, a girl is not really that interested in a relationship if she goes down on you the first time she meets you
So I thought I was slick leaving his room this morning all incognito. Little did I know I was wearing his football jersey with his name across the back... stilettos & my bra was left behind. never seeing that again
You were right. It hurts to walk today.
If he comes back to you and I'm left alone in lonelytown I'm totally going to poo on your car.
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Found him. He was passed out on the couch at the new place in a room full of burnt pizza smoke.
She posts like 3 statuses a day pleading for pity. Responding positively would be like giving a dog a treat for shitting on the floor.
He has crabs, not bed bugs. I recommend incoporating a clinic on this mornings walk of shame route.
Hahahaha you would not believe what I just pulled out of my vagina. Actually you probably wouldn't be surprised.
Wine floats aren't as good of an idea as they seem
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I dunno. It's not as good as 'devourer of cocks' but I suppose few things are.
He told me he wants to eat me out all day while I lay in bed watching football. Seems like a solid foundation for a relationship to me.
He fingered me and now wants me to go get plan b because of it. WE'RE IN COLLEGE.
Do you know how hard it is to was the scent of sex from your hair in a gas station bathroom?!
True love: he brought me a margarita while I was n the shower. He's a keeper.
I'd like to buy a season pass to your dick please.