At least I can take solace in the fact that with 8 billion some odd people in the world, at least one of them is shitting in their own car right now.
Remember how we wr so drunk last nite we cldnt find whr i shot my load? ...found some of it.
His internet history had "Disney Porn" on it.
She was narrarating everything she did.. like while making toast.
Quiet hours sex sucks. I hate finals.
you kept say ridiculous things then repeating them in perfect classical latin. You are onee intelligent drunk
I lost count of how many people I peed on last night.
you looked up at me mid puke with tears in your eyes and asked to make sure no one took your turn at Wii
Just thought i should tell someone im on the roof, if i pass out up here because no one found me, im behind the chimney
I literally recorded a toilet flushing to make it his ringtone to remind me what a piece of shit he is
Oh damn. God have mercy on everything w a dick in a ten mile radius.
Am I allowed to be in denial about being gay again? Or is that one of those things you can't do?
Come get your sister, she's waving a shoe about and threatened to "teabag the Shit" out of the doorman because she can't check the shoe in.
The problem with having sex on the couch is that your blanket ends up in the laundry and you're left cold on the couch the next day.
I just ironed my gstring.. this is please fuck my brains out on a whole new level.