guy from last night has fluorescent crocs in his closet. judging by the rest of his clothes he doesn't wear them in an ironic way
Cop gave me a ticket for public drunkedness, and then I convinced him to drive me back to the party
I accidentally screamed the wrong name last night. He stopped for a second, said "fuck it, you're too hot to care," and then continued fucking me.
If my thighs hurt from cage dancing last night, I can only imagine how yours feel
The world isn't going to end because you slept with him!
... that would be easier though.
15 year-old stoners have those problems. we're college students dude. dont be like that...
One of my friends took me out last night for a bday celebration and I just now remembered that a man blew fire balls across the bar in honor of my birthday... How drunk do you have to be to forget that?
Some daaay... Bet your bottom dollar that some daaay you'll do that mollyyyy
Want to go home, so casually slip my underwear in his pocket. Never seen him grin so big and say goodbye to his friends.
By early evening I was shouting at the deeply Christian girl to suck my dick inbetween snorting lines of gatorade powder.
but there's so much I wanna do before I have kids. like die
I just masturbated to the thought of him straight up talking to me. to us having a conversation. What the hell.
At first it will make you think "how is this physically possible?" and then it will ruin an entire food group for you.
It's 5am and I come home to you naked on the kitchen table and 3 people I never saw before fucking on the back porch ... and my weed gummy worms are gone. fuck you I'm taking your mom's offer
He's UNCIRCUMCISED. And it curves. Two things I've never encountered in all my sluttiness and they're both on the hottest guy alive. :(
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