Pretty sure that this text will cost me like $5 but just wanted you to know that I just smoked a bowl of kush, about to walk around shopping for hookers and i get 3 credit hours for this study abroad .... have fun studying for finals.
Going to get yelled at but I labeled the reel "four dried up sluts decide going to the middle east to shop during a war is the best idea ever"
No she hasen't showed up to my place yet, last I heard she was puking as she was walking without stopping near the park.
like stop trying to get a relationship out of this when i'm clearly in the drunken mistakes part of my life.
and i'm pretty sure he drank the lava lamp
Our whole friendship has just been time foreshadowing my dick in your mouth.
You know what I'm hearing? Blah, blah, blah, I have pneumonia, blah, blah, blah, I'm a quitter. COME OVER AND PUT YOUR PENIS INSIDE ME.
Worst walk of shame everrr. Hopefully the thought of me walking 20 minutes in the freezing cold with someone else's sweatpants, a bra on & high heels will cheer you up today.
Oh god there are people jogging. Fuck off productive people, you don't know me.
I would seriously fuck her so hard, her contacts would pop out of her eyes.
But break dance skills will only take you so far
I totally have a huge crush on him though which is fucking up my "classy she-demon with limited feelings" vibe
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed...
Got my client divorced finally. He was even awarded the cat ashes. Yep I went to law school for this.
You were drinking tequila through a straw.. and kept waving your arms at me and getting this intense stare down as you muttered something about jedi mind tricks.
A drunk frat boy just jumped on the hood of my car while I was driving down Bridge St. He yelled at me to keep going since he was playing frogger and needed another car to jump on... or a log. I hate this town.
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