Somerville?? What the hell are you going to do there?
Watch a movie and have sloppy make outs OBVI. 45 Harris St. in case I die.
All I want for christmas is my sobriety back.
She is sleeping in a dress because she's too drunk to put "real clothes" on
Thank god i puked near the cancer center. makes me look like a chemo patient
Divorce is final. Doing tequila shots at 1 in the afternoon.
I'm having a staring contest with a raccoon.
Where the hell are you
He's winning.
Just grabbing my bra from a history teacher's desk in the Humanities building. Maybe I should stop drinking on weeknights
My goal for tonight is to swipe my debit card through those weird rolls on the back of a big bald guy's head.
Shitshow foam night was such a success
When this bachelor party is over and your life is in ruins, you have my permission to die.
ERIN AND I ARE GETTING MATCHING VIBRATORS. I'M PEER PRESSURING YOU INTO JOINING THE CLUB. Besides we're the three best friends that anyone could have, you better not ruin that by being a pussy and not treating your pussy to awesomeness. That is all.
I just tripped over a but plug that was on the floor. It's 430 in the morning
I will not go because I am a man of my word and of my penis.
when I said eat the rich I didn't mean like that but here we are sucking that capitalist dick
I was supposed to see Marcus tonight and he cancelled. Listen, I shaved my butt hole. Somebody is getting this WAP 😂😂😂😂
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