Came home to a chalk baord that read:" Think like a rapist." Can't say I'm surpirsed.
Tell Heather sorry for burning her hair. Also for anything else that I may have done that warrants and apology. Anything after about 10pm is kind of hazy.
ive decided theres a fine line between accepting money for sex and letting someone buy you late night taco bell and knowing that if he hadnt you wouldnt be in his bed right now
i'm in workout clothes. this is progress.
I feel like after all he sees, the dog needs to get baptized.
Theres a picture of you standing next to a John Wayne cardboard cutout that says dont drink and drive. your buddy is shirtless holding a beer and youre holding your keys up with marker on your face.
Look. I've got things to do today.. Will you hurry up and come over so I can give you some head and get my day started already
Outside
Yes, I have your ice luge mold. I'll do a prisoner exchange for the beer bong
I live vicariously through you. No one mistakes me for a hooker anymore. I look like a stay at home mom of three. On bad days of four.
Trying to decide who to DD on the fourth and I came up with a Who's who of guys I've hooked up with in the last month. Not an ideal situation, but I have a feeling it's gonna happen anyway.
At least I know that however bad my life gets and how low I can feel I'll never feel shitting in a red robin parking lot low
like I licked Molly off a boys palm last night at a bar I think its ok to eat chicken once a week
Not gonna lie I just got drunk and started doing applications because I know I'm going into work tomorrow still drunk
i just woke up on the desk in his dorm with him snoring in my vagina. better than last week waking up to a different guy puking on my bare ass i guess.
Is there a subtle way to tell him he needs to hydrate? 8 years of yoga and kegels. He has no idea what I’m going to do to him this weekend
Randomize
