How can something that makes you feel so good one day make you feel so bad the next?
Alcohol?
Sex with a fat chick.
just won a stolen shopping cart in a dance off in a parking lot.
Just got a full body massage. It was uncomfortable at first, but then I realized I let strangers turn off the lights and put their hands all over my naked body 3 times a week anyways.
I apologize for forcing you to look at my boob when we were high. It was uncalled for
I just sat through a State Farm mortgage Insurance commercial to watch a Trick Daddy video. Is this the target audience they are going for here?
will you please explain to me as to why or how i have a dirtbike tread looking bruise on my back?
I'd like to bring you 40 virgins and treasure chests of gold to make you feel better
I'm mad at him and disappointed with you. It's like I put a bunch of effort into a PowerPoint of "what not to do with Zach" to show you and the first bullet point was "do not love him" and you're just disregarding all my effort and friendship.
I have to make mistakes myself to learn from them
FUCK YOU I AM MAKING A POWERPOINT
If I get laid dressed as one of the McPoyle twins, I deserve all the medals.
Dude are you wearing a trashbag right now?....
I seemed to have misplaced my pants...
At 2pm we are having a MANDITORY house meeting about last night. ALL must be in attendance!
I'd like to review the planning and execution of the party to determine how we hosted a naked party, to determine how we can have more.
He ran into the surf holding up a cigarette yelling "let the Olympic games begin!" So no, no vodka left.
the next thing I knew, I was on the floor of a Tim Hortons bathroom in Canada.
I just found those cheese sticks in my purse. Along with a handful of confetti.
Also, what day were you thinkin we should trip balls at the children's museum?
Randomize
