I need to buy a mesh tank top to fit in in Florida. Where do they even sell that shit?
I hate it when hot girls behave. It's so anticlimactic
I've been congratulating people on facebook about their forthcoming pregnancies. I can't wait to see how this plays out
oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
My boss just gave me full permission to come into work wasted this weekend.
His whole family saw that I had cum in my hair once they turned on the blacklight at the bowling alley. You should have seen his mother's face.
A 300 lb dude in a sundress yelling bible verses while wearing a raggedy anne wig is just as funny as I thought it would be. Thank you san francisco.
I am currently listening to someone take a shit. I hate the hole in the ceiling.
My week is over as of 8pm tonight, and I'm herpes free...Let's rage
There is a man playing a trumpet at this brunch and I hate life. Too hungover for this. Send help ASAP.
I'm just impressed that you can puke without losing your gum
Stay away a while longer.
Still not sure if they're cops or strippers.
We knew it was an interesting night when we found my thong wrapped around a chocolate chip muffin in the fridge.
If I die write a nice eulogy and bury me with my star wars bobbleheads
Where'd you go?
Laundry, im. A responsible drunk
Randomize
