He told me I had nice tits + they have a great shape. + then proceeded to flatten my boob + show me what the gross tits he's seen look like.
i got shots of sambuca dumped on my head last night. my bag still smells like licorice. making me nauseous.
it is a nice little reminder of the bruins dominance. if Vancouver had won, it would somehow smell of maple syrup.
if you need to find her look her up on www.imastupidslut.org
.org?
yeah. they're non profit. helps them sleep at night.
its official: beach shits are the exact same as mountain shits
I really hope the fuck ferry pays me a visit to close out 2011 properly.
He fucked me so hard I might have to go to the hospital for internal bleeding
Can I have him when you're done?
He fucked me so hard I had an asthma attack. I'm like the sickly poster child for celibacy.
I have a strict rule of what enters my vajay. It's either sparkly, or human. Anything else and I draw the line. Standards.
I like to get drunk just like anyone else but not to the point of sticking a rubber tube up my asshole
Well my grandma put the turkey in the oven for 4 hours and didn't have the oven on.
no we just smoked too much weed and listened to the tarzan soundtrack. phil collins is amazing
He called me for phone sex. Do you know how hard it is to fake an orgasm, and play Candy Crush at the same time?
Scientific fact: if he makes a face like a demonic dog when he's fucking you, makes it easier to fuck without feelings.
she is legit trying to fuck me to death between her and work i haven't slept in 3 days and have at least 16 hours to go before sleep is a possibility. can i crash at your place she doesnt know where you live
like I'd leave you in a situation like that..pfft. what kinda friend do you think I am?
...a stoned one.
Randomize
