My unemployment check should really just be direct-deposited into the checking account of my drug dealer
for our anniversary he stepped it up a notch and bought cool whip rather than the store brand. i was impressed.
I acted like I was still sleeping as she gathered her stuff to leave.. that's when she let one rip
I wish "capable of destroying an innocent girl's life" is something I could put on my resume
These Attractive Criminals Took Sexy Mugshots That Made Them Famous
I think the phrase "baptist college" should be an oxymoron.
No, I'm not keeping her! I can't become an adulterer and a dog stealer in the same 24 hours...
No one wears that much makeup to work unless they are trying to fuck their boss, NO ONE
I passed out on my porch last night. I'm still making it to class. This is what growing up means.
If I die tonight. Just know that chicken I made fuckin ruled. Recipe: Chicken with a shitload oF spice
This Girl’s Unbelievable Catfish Story Will Make You Rethink Online Dating
This football player keeps talking about his drunk dad. I think he may start crying. Does this deserve a roll tide?
You said "sustain yourself" quietly over and over as you fed joeys hamster cashews. Acid you is a trip
When God was sprinkling self control to everybody, he ran out and was like ehhhh she'll make it!
is it acceptable to cross the border for sex?
They were out of soap so you started calling yourself a dirty bitch
99% of the contents of my handbag are ketchup packets and condoms. I feel that says a lot about me as a person.