one day john is going to snap and they are going to make a new show called "john and chainsaw minus 9"
Do you realize that we tried to rent a limo at 5am to come and take us to waffle house?
Just saw the pics you left in my phone. thanks for reminding me that last night was not a dream.
For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
25 Of The Most Common Life Mistakes Young People Make
I worked with a girl tonight that recognized me solely from a keg stand she witnessed me do sophmore year. Needless to say this made my night
maybe almost giving yourself a concussion counter acts a hangover
I've been living off of popsicles and broth.
HOW LONG TILL THESE DRUGS WEAR OFF. I WORK IN ONE HOUR, I REPEAT, I WORK IN ONE HOUR.
Also, just had a student offer to sell me Xanax. Want some? Just for like a rainy day. Or our memorial day shitshow. Or just another Wednesday night.
25 People Confess What They Really Think When They See An Obese Person
He was twisted. Literally. It's like God took his dick with a pair of pliers and gave it a half twist to the left.
Drunk Karaoke resulted in only 8 injuries this time, so there is some improvement.
apparently I got pissed off that no one would let me spray them with a bottle of champagne at midnight of the new year. so I sprayed myself with one shirtless in the near freezing cold outside
Where's the chopping off someone's balls emoji
I'm drunk. And I'm alone. Eating chicken fingers in my underwear. I'd say life is grand.
WHEN THE HELL DOES ANYTHING IN OUR LIVES *EVER* GO AS PLANNED???