I think I'm going to go home and read The Bible.
He could list all of the presidents! Every one, and in order!! I was so impressed the least I could do was give him a blow job.
Ah, yes. Making our founding fathers proud.
She got all mad because she said it was "unprofessional" to tell my manager to go fist herself.
I cant believe you went home with her.. Your poor immune system and the shit you put it through.
I think the world is coming to an end. Earthquakes, huricanes, floods, and now you say you LOVE him. Im building a shelter and going into hiding.
I've wasted nicer days than this hungover and dry heaving in bed.
dude to be honest with you there is a used condom that ive just left on my floor for three days
you have got to get your shit together
Im chasing shots of tequila with chocolate milk right now. by myself. its nasty, but I've had worse in tjere the past couple days, so ill take it.
Seriously you have a sixth sense. You woke up out of a nap to tell us all to check the clock and it was 4:18. You're like the spiderman of smoking weed.
I remember it because it was right after the sadness and right before the sluttiness. The calm before the storm if you will
How bad is it I'm looking at his cock while waiting to see my therapist?
The fact that you walked around talking like Barbie and still got laid amazes me.
can we drink soon
I'm not sure who this is but I'm free tomorrow night
He showed up at my house with roses and a bottle of vodka... to watch a movie. obvi i took the vodka and didn't sleep with him
I’ve developed a strange interest in ear wax removal vids on YouTube. Dear god, I need to get a job
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