dude we were spooning naked in bed with her ass in my crotch. she sharted in her sleep all over my dick.
First off: I'm drunk so fuck you. Second: you weren't a bad girlfriend. Tres: thats 3 in spanish. Number 4: fuck 3 Doors Down
Herpes is a lot like Arnold Schwartzenneger. Because it always comes back. Also, because it is usually in some way in control of California.
Her vagina was like a man-sized safe.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just so you know, each of my boobs fits perfectly in a martini glass.
Now would be a great time to stop wondering " Who let the dogs out" and go to sleep
what's with the bloody hand print on the hood of your car
It's official. I now have that "I was drunk and needed the money" college story to share later in life.
Would your heart desire to drink copious amounts of alcohol tonight?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I watched Morgan Freeman explain the existence of nothing, now I'm afraid of sub - atomic particles. these egg rolls are outstanding
Jesus tap dancing Christ rock out with your cock out is supposed to be just an expression. And even if it weren't no one wants pics bro.
It just makes sense. It's like I end a relationship, and wash myself of sin... with tequila.
idk how many shots you took between 2:39 and 3:05, but your message went from "Please text me tomorrow." to "Why you sto textom?"
She woke up, peed in the sink and then passed out again, it's only 2 in the afternoon
I keep worrying she's gonna have a repeat of the time the ceiling fan was talking in Chinese
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