the shit that comes out of a woman's mouth when she knows you can't hit her is fucking unbelieveable
That bitch is like a bad destiny's child song.
If you want her to think you're a true humanitarian, you may want to stop referring to Hands Across America as "the Ghostbusters 2 of fund raisers."
This is how scared I get when I ride roller coasters. And how scared I was when I had to poop when I had herpes.
I think I'm going to die by hangover. I'm in my spanish class. So I guess I'm going to be muerte.
It's a line of coke at 10 a.m. kind of Saturday. Don't be a pussy about life.
I'm sorry I put you in the washing machine. I honestly thought you would fit.
Seriously, I was a high class hooker. I was snorting shit Rachel, white powder, lines formed with credit cards, the dudes house was beautiful. Magnum condom. Adorable puppy dog. Pretty sure at some point I was sleeping on a washing machine. Boxing Gloves.
Those were the highlights of my night.
I just audibly asked myself if i wanted to masturbate.
And then audibly agreed
I feel like it went downhill once I decided we should take $100 tequila shots.. oops lol
Sorry for face planting onto the table with all our alcohol on it
Clothes make me feel like a responsible adult and that's just not something I'm ready to handle.
well at least now you can say you got an STD from the frontman of a band no one's heard of
fuck you.
At one point I was counting his nipple hairs to calm myself down.
I gave in, made out with her, and long story short, I'm giving hetero another try.
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