Yeah, but thats the third time she's peed on me.
he was lying next to me and i saw him text "score" to someone.
Stop. You don't mean that. Tequila might mean that. But you don't mean that.
I'm not really sure how I got home, but judging by this headache, i'm assuming it involved bourbon.
The last thing i remember was high fiving everyone on the planet.
If u were an xman, what would ur power be? I would shoot lasers from my boobs.
Today as a vday present for myself I am walking in between any couples I see on campus.
i was driving around baked, windows down jamming to third eye blind and eating grapes for 35 minutes before i remembered why i left my house
okay, please tell me Cammy is the one who put the picture and note on my desk saying "beat off to this homeboy"
does the girl puking in my garbage belong to you?
Taking shots of gin by myself out of TMNT glasses and chasing with bites of chocolate cake. AMERICA.
She introduced me as that girl Nathan was fingering
Was he good-huge or like "what the fuck do i do with this"-huge
I didn't have time to wash my hair yesterday. Ended up spraying some Febreeze on it.
only you would understand that I was talking from the perspective of my boobs
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