they are using this drunk girl like a spin the bottle in the hot tub, whoever she lands on she makes out with.
Some great men died of syphilis. I accept your compliment.
the bouncer watched the girl drop her ID, saw me pick it up and say OMG SHE LOOKS LIKE ME, and then let me use it to get into the bar
BAHHAHHAHHAHAHHA SOME ASS IS BIYING NE DRHBKS. DRUBK
She ended up puking in the bathroom. But she's a good drunk... i told her to stay in there so i could dance til the club closed. She was still in the stall an hour later.
I'd return your shirt, but it got all wet from lying on the bathroom floor while I was in the shower with Justin's roommate...
Keep it.
So when I eventually, if ever, find someone I'd like to marry, do you think having people fly to africa for a lion king themed wedding is too much?
can't believe I traded a good night's sleep and a midterm for your blurry tits
I have to date her we need a place to stay for tailgating
Good, be his mentor. Like a tiny gay Yoda.
I have already been up, showered, had a cup of coffee brought to me, added a little rum to cure the hangover, had sex and kicked him out and it's only 1pm. Successful day so far.
I can't hangout tonight, I have a phone sex appointment at 10
Like I said, all hypothetical...unless, of course, you'd be into that. My heart may skip a beat.
i need to get crying drunk at the bar more often. i end up going home with guys who have big penises. its like God is saying "there, there, this will cheer you up".
I just came in my own mouth don't ask me how cuz it really hurt and felt good at the same time.
Randomize
