Let's create a 16 and pregnant drinking game
that's almost as bad as that time i almost ashed in a baby carriage
Remind me to tell you the "if you give a mouse a special brownie" story when you get back
How do the people at CVS not know your living in their bathroom?
It would be been irresponsible not to make cleaning the apartment into a drinking game
We should search craigslist for porches to sublet.
I need to stop drunkenly getting naked. I'm losing all my favorite party clothes.
PAAAANTS ARE FOR AAAASSHOLES
Leaving my wallet at work and not going out to drink tonight...SIGN FROM THE UNIVERSE.
I love how you sexted me before you told me happy birthday. Thank you.
May or may not have just put tequila in my special "kids+" orange juice fortified with vitamins a, b, c, d, e, and now t.
He is a sweet angel sent from dick heaven!
Definitely went down on him last night while he was wearing a cape. He randomly kept swirling it around me and "revealing me" in the mirror like a magic trick. I'm not even a little upset, it's fun fucking younger guys.
There's a hole in our hallway wall. Don't hate me. I'll fix it. It's only about the size of a beach ball. I promise to never scale walls in our apartment ever again. Don't hate me. I love you.
I don't know what the hell I'm going to do with myself when this is all over. I'll probably just go back to smoking pot and trying to learn italian.
Randomize
