Ive never seen someone more dtf than a soaking wet drunk girl who stumbles into your backyard.
I told him to show me what he was made of and he came on my face. law students are so technical.
He literally is quoting that 21 questions song, the 50 cent one. oh my god.
It got to the point that I had to make flashcards with their name on the front and dick pics on the back.
yea. Don't mess. He will heal me. But my blowjobs will be historical.
Like her Facebook page isn't even hers. It belongs to her tits. It's Titsbook
Nothing better than going to Mass on Easter Sunday with "I love penis" henna tattooed across your back. Love your Indian culture.
Dude, just found out there's a monster in a video game named after me. No more dating nerds.
I wouldn't say I LOVE Pacman. I mean, sure, I'd battle against you in an epic Pacman struggle for blow jobs and glory. But I mean, who wouldn't?
He will forever be known as the toe sucker who may or may not have been a father
I sign my lease Thursday, I'm about to be released back into the wild.
I'll make missing person signs.
You're a good friend.
That's actually very serious....I really do think of you whenever is see pizza
He named his newborn baby after a character in the Hobbit and that is literally keeping me up at night.
You're a wizard. You are a master of disguise. You are beautiful. I love you.
the orange of my hangover Tang is hurting my eyes... my coworkers knew it was hangover Tang too.
Randomize
