how do you clear previous safari searches on an iPhone? i asked my brother to google something for me and "big penis" "empire chinese food" and "reverse cowgirl" popped up.
Is it sad i was sitting here thinkin how i would only fuck Rob Pattinson if he was glittery at said time.
Whenever I miss you I just turn on Tool Academy
Im am drinking whisky alone in my parents basement. I think I just watched the point of no return stroll by.
When I come over I'm bringing "Socky" the Alcoholism Prevention puppet, today he is going to tell you boys about his FAVORITE word---its called "moderation"
She tried to beat the waitress over the head with a bread stick because one of her martini olives was missing a pimento. All while screaming "IT'S GAMEDAY BITCH"
Olive Garden will never be the same.
he looks SO much like Drake, I feel like an extreme groupie every time we have sex.
On a better note: I'm on pace for 730 female produced orgasms in 2013.
I want morning sex. We can incorporate maple syrup into it somehow, it'll be fun
just like fucking own it. stare that cop in the eye and just keep masturbating "yeah motherfucker Im high as shit and this feels great"
Had a vaginal orgasm. I feel like I made sex my bitch.
Had sex on your trumpet just an fyi.
Yeah, so if you ever try to steal it, just know my tongue's been on it in several occasions. All over it.
you should come have a drink with me (non alcoholic or otherwise) im at the same bar as your sister and a few guys that would apparently "lick your butthole"-congratulations
St. Patty's shenanigans tmrw? I wanna meet dudes lol. Why stop at coronavirus when you can get the clap, too?
Randomize
