If it were my dying wish, would you come over 2nite 2 save me?:):):) wana come anyways?
when people say theyve been sober for however many years is that like couple beers not drunk sober, or no drinking sober?
She said her tits were too big, and he slapped her. He said that Jesus didn't appreciate bitches that fish for compliments
we convincced her parents we were only wasted meanwhile theire faces were morphing into one and i swear there was a reindeer in the background
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE ASSHOLE WHO BREAKS OUT THE SHOTS
Last night I had sex with one of the groomsmen I was in the wedding with. In a stairwell. 13 years my senior. Thinking I should retire from the bridesmaid gig.
my vagina is starting to think like a penis, and I'm not even slightly worried
You didn't try to help me when I fell on the dance floor. She brought me cupcakes. You're a shitty friend, suck your own dick.
I was hoping for a marriage proposal... Or at least an offer to sleep in his bed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I swear to go if the response she sends me something along the lines of who the fuck is Mark Hamill I might need to brake up with her.
I'm like bob the builder except I'm fixing boners.
He got up in the middle of the show and returned with this massive ham shank, then offered me some by asking "wanna suckle on my hog." Should I be offended?
She turned down sex for beer pong. I'm not sure if I should be disappointed or not.
Stay home. Ain't nothing out in these mean streets but plan b and regret
He's got a british accent, a tounge ring, and he's wearing an eye patch... Of corse I'm fucking him
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