I got to watch him fuck me from behind in the reflection of an ornament. so glad I decorated.
she gave him a mild concussion from throwing him against the wall in an attempt to dance with him. gotta love monday nights at the sandbar.
i got a blow job in the bathroom during intermission at the hockey game. i'm pretty sure i made Canada proud.
found your viking helmet in the parking lot this morning, its missing a horn. There was still liquor in the remaining horn. shots from a viking helmet should be mandatory.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Lowest moment of my life just occurred. I literally threw up all over myself in front of my parents.
I'm taking her home. She just told a 90 yo woman in a packers hat to "suck her cock".
see these eyes, they just want to bone and go to sleep.
I feel like, for the first time today, we had a healthy yolo.
Done deal I'm dying it right at this moment. I'll need a red Speedo and a half shirt that is extremely tight. Like nipple tight.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't turn off my feet"
Its was awkward last year cuz in the middle of it her mom bust In the room with noise makers and champagne
I tried to find an emoji but none convey my excitement for receiving good sex soon
Im four hours late for work AND i pissed my bed
You can only use the "she handcuffed me naked to your bed, i couldn't do anything, sorry bro" excuse once.
You have a tempurpedic. you only have you to blame.
She walked up to me and whispered "I hope you're good at sex" and led me to the beach.
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