she was so not down for the gang bang
Big sunglasses are the new paper bag
ya. and they're way easier to confince girls to wear during sex
How am I supposed to spread my seed with you "modern women" and your birth control?
So the waitress at the Chinese Buffet totally just said "Adios" to a Hispanic couple. There's something you don't see every day.
highlight of my day: just saw a crying girl get dropped off at home wearing only socks, booty shorts, and a dirty wifebeeter. I wonder what happened to the costume...
So my boyfriend is on his way over and there is no time to wash the sheets from when I had his roommate over earlier. Put them in the dryer with a damp bounce sheet. Win?
This is a whole new level of slut for you....do they smell ok?
How are ur friends?
One is peeing in the grass and the other is asleep under the stairs. Fuck them I'm sleeping in the car
I have vodka soaked strawberries. My latest tarot card reading hinted at a lesbian/bisexual coming out. I doubt I survive the night.
Apparently when your theatre teacher asks who the best actor of our time is, Nicolas Cage is not the right answer.
I'm not sure New Orleans is real. Even the grocery stores sell vodka.
He was so energetic. It was like screwing a bunny.
I have an interview tomorrow! The couple we regularly swing with said I could use them as references. Winning
You were trying to be sexy by spraying your contact solution on your chest and telling me to lick it off
We could probably bang our way to enlightenment. However acid helps.
He spent ten minutes post bj, limp cock still out, in shock repeating 'best blow job ever'. So yes, yelling I am the penis queen out the car window was justified.
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