Last night I had a dream we played Uno and had sex. You won at Uno, but you lost at sex.
at FSU your more likely to get an STD than a parking spot
I learned much from the teen babysitter: I can light a cigarette in a microwave.
this girl ate taco bell on my bed naked last night, it was the sexiest thing ive ever seen
I finally got her to squirt but it wasnt a stream, it came out in the form of mist. I felt like I was in rainforest cafe.
I just found a pubic hair on my dick that wasn't mine.
All I remember from last night is petting the broom with my feet and feeling like I was standing on a horses head
Actually I think I might be dying right now so if I do you have to drink all my vodka
You're so demanding.
google maps should a have a setting for this. like I AM ABANDONING EVERYTHING TO MEET A GIRL WHO IS 10 HOURS OF MILES AWAY. HOW DO WE DO THIS OPTIMALLY?
ARE YOU SAYING THAT YOU DON'T WANT TO GO TO A PARTY AT AN ADULT STORE WHERE A BUNCH OF HOT GIRLS ARE DRINKING
I GOT JUDGED BY A GUY WORKING AT THE LEAST CLASSY STRIP CLUB. Peeing isn't a right, it's a privilege.
Nope I went the fuck home like an adult
she paid $15 and a box of cheerios for their acid
Do you want me to add this to the list of actions I will state at your intervention
I dont remember you getting a condom thrown at you. I think I had a concusion
Randomize
