Yeah. I hotboxed a windbreaker.
Is your delayed response due to the massive amount of judging going on?
ugh. my soul tastes like vodka
I swear it's like I have a jerk off quota I have to meet each week. If I miss three days I have a wet dream and it's like a wasted jizz, and it gets everywhereeeeeee.
My dads not up on pop culture but he's not dumb enough to believe your 2 girls 1 cup reference at dinner was from the bible.
What about.....a game of twister and....wait..nevermind. I've hit my cap for sexualizing things today.
Question. There's no better feeling than clean shaven balls. Do girls get that too?
I expected better sex from someone with the word CHAOS tattooed above his dick. But on the bright side, he was down to watch a documentary on Honey Badgers afterwards so I guess I'll keep him around.
i'm eating pizza lunchables and telling my boyfriend he can do better than me because i am a functional adult
Also day 6: dick is healed and ready to go back to work.
I either forgot underwear this morning or lost them at work and I seriously don't know which.
I woke up on a different floor than I went to sleep on. Can't find my shoes.
Had a girl with a moustache tattoo on her hand give me a handjob. That shit was classy as fuck. I felt like I should be wearing a monocle or something.
my night went from a boring school play to hotboxing a car with 3 criminals
I'm at this party and a blind kid just walked in and asked "where is the fucking pong table"
Randomize
