Hey, go out with us like you promised. You're younger than us and should be able to handle your coke problem with grace.
Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
You kept running into the wall most of the night. When people asked you what you were doing you told them you were the kool-aid man and there was little kids on the other side of the wall who needed your juice
sometimes i think what itd be like to be a firework
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just saw all the pictures from the party. I'm wearing a different shirt in every single one.
I left the guinea pigs on the dryer. Make sure to take care of them.
Out of desperation, I used the leftover sauce from my goat masala as a mixer for vodka shots.
Well, that now makes it the 4th girlfriend in a row to cheat on me. I don't even care anymore...I'll date a prostitute and not even worry.
We have bigger issues at hand... Does anybody know someone in the kalamazoo area that is missing a pair of stilts ?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Then he rubbed shampoo all over my arm and shouted, "Garnier FUCK THIS."
I can feel your movements against the shared wall we are leaning up against. It makes me feel as though we are one. Queue Pocahontas song...
SO EXCITED ABOUT STRING CHEESE RIGHT NOW
I don't know what's wrong with me. The guy from bar rescue is making me horny
Honestly, the only reason I've been productive today was because I ended up organizing my apartment while searching for my vibratory charger.
How was jagerbomb pong?
It was like communism. Great in theory. Terrible when put into practice
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