I seriously wish I was FB friends with her
Have you ever noticed that nowhere is the same thing as now here, i get my best ideas when i smoke
so we have officially lost him as of 7 hours ago.. already called campus security, the drunk tank and the hospital. figure he'll turn up eventually..
i'll start checking the bushes on campus.
i thought they made a 7-hour walmart run, but they were actually in jail.
Everytime I am with a guy I hope his penis is as big as yours. It never is. Thanks for setting that bar.
I'm being responsible and going as a gay, slutty Mormon missionary. It's responsible because I'll have a bike helmet on for when I fall over because I'm too shitfaced to stand upright. It's safer than Count Fagula. I just need to come up with a line equal or greater than "Blaaaa I want to suck your dick"
Dude i swear to christ if he sends me one more pic of a "magnificent dump" im changing my number
I wish men found my impeccable aim when spitting into the sink attractive.
I never thought people would keep their guns next to their fake plastic penises, but there they were.
all i've had to eat today is leftover bday cake and a shot of tequila.
welcome to college.
Why can't he just dump me? This is like a baby seal clubbing the hunter
Remember the guy with the pretty voice that gave us crabs?
He’s tiny, hairless and humps my leg when he wants sex. He’s basically a chihuahua
Watching South Park, doing sit-ups and drinking tequila. In other words, my night is going pretty good.
Long story short wrist restraints, Apple Watch and cumming all don’t mix
Randomize
