it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
boyfriend complimented me on my new prada shoes today. he is officially either gay or the man im gonna marry. knowing my luck it's all of the above.
They threw a beer at you on stage and then you stopped the karaoke and cussed everyone in the bar out for 2 minutes
you wouldn't come out from under your bed because you said there were six-armed bears everywhere.
ohhh that explains the pepperonis I found in my sock drawer this morning...
no it doesn't.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
conquered wheelchair sex. it's rather convenient. you'd think it was made for it, with all those handles and adjustable features.
it's a gatorade, cheez its, and regret kind of morning....
I feel like my uterus is decaying in my body
I feel like god wrote up a contract of my life, and i just signed off on that shit without reading the fine print.
What kind of life do I lead that no one is surprised by the fact that I was watching porn at work with the hot 37 year old?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Piñatas plus fireworks don't mix well
lesbians are really intense tho, she made me take her eye makeup off and told me she was going to eat me for breakfast
Teach me the ways of your demonic sorcery.
Until you've snorted cocaine at 6am before your nursing school clinicals birthing babies you're not on my level
sam was dropping a deuce next to me. wrote me a note that said "glad we shared this experience." passed it under the wrong stall. the other guy picked it up. that's all I know so far.
Slowly dying because of my period and my phone is mocking me because I have 69% battery
Randomize