i hope your v-card owns a pair of floaties
I woke up on the steps beside a plate of spaghetti and a toilet paper roll ripped in half. And i actually think this day is gonna get better.
FYI : beer farts in the morning chase women right out of bed!
Or I die of a heart attack, which is the more likely/less fun scenario.
and now there are teeth marks on my dick.
Monday morning margarita madness at ny house. Yes before wheel of fortune. Yes day drinking.
He tried to use a signal flare to light the bong
And?
He melted the stem
Imagine if you could have something so delicious, like your taste buds went on LSD while eating a chocolate tiramisu. That's the opposite of what cum tastes like.
We got kicked out of the ice rink last night for drinking and checking strangers... but they let us keep the beer
My new hangover cure is going for a haircut, just so the stylists give me a scalp massage during the shampoo.
That certainly explains the nine times your hair has looked different just this last month alone.
Worst case: you're extra horny, have no control of your mouth or actions, and maybe murder someone. Child's play.
It wasn't until I lost my earring that I realized "I've been here before". Turns out we fucked a year ago. We've decided to make it a tradition.
This is like the fourth time this month I've woken up hungover in someone's backyard
you fell asleep with her panties on your face. how are you surprised??
after we fucked i left the room and when i came back he was patting his dick whispering "prouda you lil guy...prouda you"
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