Why can't I find a man that likes bush instead of a vagina that looks like it belongs to a prepubescent child!
Because men are children
Touche
guys i just found a dildo in the laundry room and its purple
whats a dildo? isnt that like a fancy piece of bread?
I just saw the Donald Trump of homeless quys walking down the street. He had three shopping carts and a bike.
A 21st bday and NYE should be illegal to have in the same week...
I feel like Tiger Woods should send Jesse James a gift basket or something...
Theres been so much buildup for our genitals to meet, one or both of us is sure to be disappointed.
I just got a booty call..Its 6 pm..a brave attempt to climb the rotation ladder..I like his ambition.
He just made me apologize because his morning wood is NOT a laughing matter.
He was having trouble staying hard then just stopped mid-sex and said "it's overheating" while pointing to his dick.
Just make sure my intervention has a theme...
should i save it for someone special or be a feminist and be like "my vagina doesnt define me"
No worries, I've prioritized my homework into "can do drunk" and "should be sober" categories. We're good.
He's so in love with you that you could fuck a blood relative and he'd be like "I just want you to be happy"
I'm in Florida in a retirement community the fuck am I supposed to do but watch tv and disgrace Jesus
You offered him a “Sorry I Blew Your Brother” Blowjob. How does that make it right?
I promised him it would be better than the one I gave his brother which is really nice of me since their actually only half brothers and his brother is cuter
Randomize
