Just got yelled at by a priest...again.
All I remember was the chick screaming "don't hookup with him! His dick's the size of a cucumber"
i just opened up my bathroom cabinet to get deodorant and found 4 bottles of natty. Its like the world wants me to miss this interview
I'm sober enough to realize she looks like a man, but drunk enough to do it anyways
Yeah I'm gunna date him. I figure its regular sex and maybe feelings will come in time...it worked for arranged marriages...
we bought a duck. we're keeping him in our dorm room. don't ever try to tell me you've had a better freshman year than me.
this weekend destroyed me...my brain feels like the curly fry at the bottom of the bag. GAhhh come save me
that's ecstasy for ya. now I'm kinda in the mood for jack in the box.
Tonights dinner consisted of washing down my plan b pill with a bottle of wine and toast. College is turning my life around
Pros and cons of selling your underwear to a guy on craigslist. Go.
Come down off the roof.
with a cock that big I don't even care that he makes a convincing drag queen
I JUST WATCHED PAULA DEEN PUT BUTTER IN HER BLOODY MARY. This is not a drill. Real life.
As you passed out you started to cry and say "Mufasa" over and over again making everyone else cry.
i have nothing going on in my life. unless a toxic love triangle with netflix and jack daniels counts.
That makes sense.. A good Bj is a trump card in any argument
What happened?
Vodka. Vodka happened.
Randomize
