So I'm going back to my apartment just to get my vibrator.
I thought you were moving in with your boyfriend for the summer?
Well....one will keep me from having to pay rent and the other satisfies. I'll let you figure it out.
he made transformer sounds every time he changed positions. how do you think it went?
There is an old man sitting across from me. Phone rang and his ringtone is children giggling, I'm not safe here.
I think I could pass a breathalyzer. But with like a C.
he told me he expects me to keep the fangs on when i go down on him. presumptuous, yes, but man after my own heart.
And I'm ok with his balls touching my ass
We're drinking vodka. Wine is for people who have to wake up in the morning.
I was gonna tell her, but there were too many tongues in my mouth
In a strange taxi 3059. Battery dying I'm dying. Bye.
He pulled the pencil out of my leg and then we fucked. It felt sorta like pulp fiction in reverse.
After the clumsiest day of my life I think it's safe to say my dream of being a ninja is dead. Memorial service with a glass of wine at 8pm
They're magnificent. It's like god made her last but hadn't fulfilled his boob quota.
Mom said it is up to us to plan Thanksgiving. Hooters or Scores?
Or???
you asked me how to turn on the ladder
Im experiencing the awkward moment after realizing two of my straight female friends have had sex with each other
Randomize
